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Astronomy
Hilarious (sometimes) AIM Conversations
If you don't understand the rating system you have deep issues. Yes I rewrote it to be easier and resemble QDB.
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To look at 2002's funnies, go here
To be a fag and just look at the funniest ones, go here
2006-11-07 [+] (-211) [-]
Matthew: i == cool * n
Matthew: does that even mean anything
Howie: not really
Howie: coz n=0
Howie: so you are not cool
2006-10-10 [+] (-208) [-]
[14:35:25] Jen: btw, what is growing in the bottom drawer?
[14:35:37] Howie: i'm in the process of proving evolution.
2006-09-28 [+] (-193) [-]
(11:07:56 AM) David K.: ck your email
(11:08:14 AM) Nick V. aka PinkBoy: you want me to enlarge my penis?
(11:08:18 AM) David K.: ROFL
(11:08:18 AM) Nick V. aka PinkBoy: oh wait, wrong email
(11:08:23 AM) David K.: lol
2006-09-26 [+] (-150) [-]
Lord of All Hummus says: also isnt there a rule about starting sentences with 'but' ?
Anya says: omg shut up
Lord of All Hummus says: what did you major in again ?
Anya says: isn't there a rule about not speaking in leet?
Anya says: or using "omg" or "lolz" or "pleez" or "steev"
Lord of All Hummus says: "Anya says: omg shut up"
2006-09-26 [+] (-134) [-]
Anya says: http://www.topcoder.com/pl/?&module=Static&d1=javaone05&d2=wednesday
Lord of All Hummus says: lol
Lord of All Hummus says: rofl 3rd runner up got a 0.00
Lord of All Hummus says: HE DIDNT DO SHIT AND HE WON A PRIZE
Anya says: lol
2006-09-26 [+] (-223) [-]
Anya says: dailywtf site says "You can also email me directly (to send attachments) by emailing me at
Anya says: do you think he put it that way to see who would mail it literally to that address?
Anya says: kind of a schmuck, just type yer damn name
Lord of All Hummus says: no, i think he did that to prevent his email address from being harvested
Anya says: oh ok
Lord of All Hummus says: :)
2006-09-15 [+] (-205) [-]
(2:10:06 PM) Shawn Wall: what is cidaemon.exe
(2:10:13 PM) Shawn Wall: cuz its using up most of my cpu
(2:10:50 PM) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: thats the gay detector. try not sitting so close to the tower
2006-09-13 [+] (-113) [-]
[14:04:43] Shawn Wall: I PUT SILICON PASTE ON MY ASS
2006-09-01 [+] (-170) [-]
Jeff: I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of you making a piddly 225bhp.
2006-09-01 [+] (-212) [-]
Jeff: The paddle shifters make me feel like Michael Schumacher racing down
the street.
Howie: I don't think Schumacher sucks cock.
Jeff: Well, there's that.
2006-09-01 [+] (-169) [-]
Jeff: What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies?
Howie: Gee, I dunno, what?
Jeff: I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.
Howie: er, no, it's the other way around.
Jeff: The fuck it is, I've got an M5 now.
2006-08-04 [+] (-124) [-]
Howie: should i just pick things from the Deferred bin or are there specific things you want me to do for s3 before you're a dirty quitter ?
John: ask russ
Howie: fine mr "i have a macbook pro and correspondingly am too important to talk to you"
John: are you coming on sunday?
John: i'll let you touch it
Howie: are we still talking about the macbook ?
John: do you want to be still talking about the macbook
2006-05-31 [+] (-199) [-]
Jen: somehow I managed to get home with one of your t-shirts
Jen: another one
Howie: stealing my stuff one t-shirt at a time eh ?
Jen: yes
Howie: i'd love to see how you're going to make off with the tv
Jen: lol
Howie: mental image of you stuffing it under your shirt and saying "welp, it's getting late, i really ought to be going!"
Howie: "baby is that my tv?"
Howie: "ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT?"
Jen: rofl
2006-05-31 [+] (-119) [-]
Howie: check the kitchen floor
Howie: ick
Jim K.: I actually like that
Jim K.: Love the purple.
Jim K.: Thing is... you haven't seen the interior of my house, yet. It is very similar.
Howie: i like the backyard
Howie: you have checkerboard floors ?
Jim K.: No, we have a massive array of painted walls
Jim K.: I really love what they did with that place
Jim K.: I wish those people were my neigbors. Look like kindred spirits.
Jim K.: Fuck.
Howie: did you or did you not see the floors ?
Jim K.: I hate my current neighbors.
Jim K.: I love checkerboard floors, Howie. Why would you have a bad reaction to that? That environment has total "character"...
Howie: yeah, if you're a rook
2006-05-25 [+] (-96) [-]
Lord of All Hummus says: yeah boston's is fine
The Eyes of Apollo says: ok, thansk for taking one for the team
The Eyes of Apollo says: it will also be like an anniversary b/c we took you there on your first day
Lord of All Hummus says: true
Lord of All Hummus says: then the next day you accused me of being sexist
The Eyes of Apollo says: it would be more appropriate to do injun, now that you mention it
The Eyes of Apollo says: don't know why I didn't think of that
Lord of All Hummus says: yeah but after injun you get supertired
The Eyes of Apollo says: hell yes
The Eyes of Apollo says: I never used the word "sexist"
The Eyes of Apollo says: I can guarantee that
Lord of All Hummus says: i said "dont you cook?" and you said "why, coz im a woman?"
The Eyes of Apollo says: I may have accused you of something
The Eyes of Apollo says: yeah
The Eyes of Apollo says: I said that
Lord of All Hummus says: and i said "you're a woman!?"
The Eyes of Apollo says: lol
Lord of All Hummus says: ICEBURN
The Eyes of Apollo says: LOL
The Eyes of Apollo says: OUCH
2006-05-24 [+] (-17) [-]
[10:46:28] Most Bestest Person Evar: ps what does simon call you? dad ?
[10:47:57] Kir: Yo D-Dawg
[10:48:23] Most Bestest Person Evar: brendan and patricia call me howie. im trying to convince them to call me something nicer
[10:48:24] Most Bestest Person Evar: like
[10:48:26] Most Bestest Person Evar: emperor howie
[10:48:27] Most Bestest Person Evar: or
[10:48:29] Most Bestest Person Evar: lord of all humans
[10:48:53] Most Bestest Person Evar: so far they are resisting
[10:49:14] Kir: give tthem time
2006-05-24 [+] (-104) [-]
[10:41:26] Most Bestest Person Evar: http://www.gayblackmania.com/free-sex/gal/black-gay-cock-01/data/black-gay-cock-movie-12.jpg
[10:41:27] Most Bestest Person Evar: sfw
[10:41:46] Kir: totally
[10:42:06] Kir: sfw
[10:42:13] Kir: safe for wall
[10:42:17] Most Bestest Person Evar: lol
[10:42:19] Most Bestest Person Evar: sexy for wall
[10:42:23] Most Bestest Person Evar: rofl
[10:42:24] Kir: rofl
2006-05-09 [+] (-138) [-]
[14:28:10] Jason Warner: the scary/funny thing is that all that will be left down there is Keith, james and Noah...what will they develop?
[14:28:26] Howie: aids, god willing
2006-03-22 [+] (-153) [-]
Anya [5:33 PM]: want to hear some girls' names from my school?
Howie [5:33 PM]: sure
Anya [5:33 PM]: Chandler Thaxton
Anya [5:33 PM]: Heyward Nelson
Howie [5:33 PM]: heyward ?
Anya [5:33 PM]: sure, why not?
Howie [5:33 PM]: forward, backward, and heyward
Anya [5:33 PM]: LOL
2006-03-22 [+] (-204) [-]
[15:56:32] Adam: so this box is > *
[15:58:00] Howie: urmom > *
[15:58:20] Adam: well, duh
[15:58:39] Adam: i think you're just jelous, because i came from between her legs, some where you will never be
[15:58:48] Adam: i just made my self throw up a little
[15:58:51] Howie: no, i come between her legs all the time
[15:58:59] Howie: ICE BURN
2006-03-21 [+] (-17) [-]
[15:17:04] Howie: i bought skittles coz anya had them and i wanted them for myself
[15:17:22] The Jenn: anya is an enabler
[15:17:52] Howie: rofl
[15:18:26] The Jenn: it's not funny, Skittlism is a serious disease Howie.
[15:18:55] The Jenn: It's a gateway drug to homosexuality.
[15:19:48] The Jenn: Go on....taste the rainbow straight boy.
2006-02-09 [+] (-178) [-]
Howie [5:16 PM]: its all a conspiracy to not let me have an M3
Jim K. [5:17 PM]: The Anti-Howie Brigade - I saw them out front, soliciting donations to fight your progress through life. They wear little orange hats and for a meager donation, gift you with a bag of microwavable popcorn.
Howie [5:17 PM]: the horror!
Jim K. [5:17 PM]: They seemed nice.
Jim K. [5:17 PM]: The hats were a little off-putting, but... what hat isn't these days?
2006-01-26 [+] (-71) [-]
Still more from the ex-job!
Noah Dedmore: CVS corrupts binary files. It makes them unuseable.
It's important to note that the numerous jar files in CVS had no problems.
2006-01-26 [+] (-137) [-]
Another nugget of wisdom from an ex-coworker. Paraphrased, but this conversation actually took place at lunch one day. An ex-job had no fewer than 7 classes with the same name, 'CigCruiseSpecial'.
James Hoffler: Why wouldn't you name Java classes the same when they
do the same thing? One is just a subset of the data from the other.
Howie: Um, because it's bad? And they don't inherit from one another!
James: Why would they inherit from one another?
Howie: Wait a minute, are we even having this conversation? This all
seems a bit surreal.
2006-01-26 [+] (-181) [-]
This was actually said to an ex-coworker. The speaker is a director of something
involving computing.
Pat Ryan: Files on a server will deteriorate over time and need to be refreshed.
2006-01-17 [+] (-137) [-]
Jeff: Hey I just saw some shit that reminded me of you so I called. What's up?
Howie: What kind of shit?
Jeff: Shit, you know. Crap. Feces.
Howie: oookay.
Jeff: It was the floater, really.
Howie: Well listen, I'm balls deep in your mom right now so I'll have to call you back.
*click*