|
Astronomy
Hilarious (sometimes) AIM Conversations
If you don't understand the rating system you have deep issues. Yes I rewrote it to be easier and resemble QDB.
To look at 2024's funnies, go here
To look at 2023's funnies, go here
To look at 2022's funnies, go here
To look at 2021's funnies, go here
To look at 2020's funnies, go here
To look at 2019's funnies, go here
To look at 2018's funnies, go here
To look at 2017's funnies, go here
To look at 2016's funnies, go here
To look at 2015's funnies, go here
To look at 2014's funnies, go here
To look at 2013's funnies, go here
To look at 2012's funnies, go here
To look at 2011's funnies, go here
To look at 2010's funnies, go here
To look at 2009's funnies, go here
To look at 2008's funnies, go here
To look at 2007's funnies, go here
To look at 2006's funnies, go here
To look at 2005's funnies, go here
To look at 2004's funnies, go here
To look at 2002's funnies, go here
To be a fag and just look at the funniest ones, go here
2003-12-22 [+] (-103) [-]
(in reference to the 2003-12-16 funny, which is below)
Tara (10:50:07PM): i thought it said send men o flowers, too
Tara (10:50:22PM): i was like, wait a sec, whaaaat?
2003-12-16 [+] (-135) [-]
(talking about getting flowers for this girl I've been talking to)
(10:10:20) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: here are florists in Lancaster
(10:10:30) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: incase you wanted to save on shipping
(10:12:59) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: this is my favorite
(10:13:02) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: http://www.sendmenoflowers.com/
(10:14:45) hmspgh: send men o flowers ?
(10:14:56) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: ROFL!!!!
(10:15:02) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: omg
(10:15:10) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: omfg
(10:15:10) hmspgh: that was kinda funny
(10:15:22) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: I think that I just pee'd in me pants
(10:15:27) hmspgh: haha!@#
(10:15:38) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: that was fucking hilarious
2003-12-12 [+] (-207) [-]
(01:18:31) hmspgh: for whatever reason, i have that "I'm So Excited" song in my head.
(01:18:36) Shawn Wall: now who's gay
(01:18:42) hmspgh: you
(01:18:42) Shawn Wall: fruitypants
2003-12-12 [+] (-191) [-]
(01:16:36) Shawn Wall: gimme a g
(01:16:42) hmspgh: G
(01:16:44) Shawn Wall: gimme an a
(01:16:46) hmspgh: A
(01:16:48) Shawn Wall: gimme a y
(01:16:49) hmspgh: Y
(01:16:51) Shawn Wall: whats that spell
(01:16:53) hmspgh: NICK
2003-12-09 [+] (-92) [-]
(there's a HUEG hole in the street outside, and various people are working to fix it... or make it worse)
(01:22:05) Shawn Wall: do u know what they are doing out there
(01:22:11) hmspgh: plooshin ?
(01:22:11) Shawn Wall: PLOOSHIN THE MANHOLE
(01:22:23) Shawn Wall: THAT BIG FUCKIN THING
(01:22:26) Shawn Wall: IS A PLOOSH BABONG
(01:22:30) hmspgh: I FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE IN THIS CONVERSATION
(01:22:34) Shawn Wall: LOL
2003-12-02 [+] (-109) [-]
(I had penne pasta w/pesto for lunch)
(01:44:27) hmspgh: my burps are pestorific.
(01:44:33) Shawn Wall: freak!
(01:44:38) hmspgh: very
(01:44:46) Shawn Wall: pestorific
(01:44:56) Shawn Wall: sounds like the age before the ice age or somethin
(01:45:13) Shawn Wall: back when the dingo lived in the pestorific age, it had ferocioius burps
(01:45:24) Shawn Wall: ferocious
(01:45:32) hmspgh: ferocioius
(01:45:37) hmspgh: the french spelling
(01:45:41) Shawn Wall: lol
2003-11-24 [+] (-84) [-]
(playing Super Smash Brothers: Melee on the GameCube, John was Kirby)
John: Somebody come in my mouth already!!!
2003-11-24 [+] (-141) [-]
(playing GTA/VC, I thought we had a billion dollars. Turns out we only had $108M.)
Howie: But dude, imagine how much money we'd have if we had a billion dollars!
(Pause)
Howie (matter-of-factly): Well, we'd have a billion. That's how much.
Howie: wtf is wrong with me?
John: Dude, you say the stupidest shit, I swear.
2003-10-31 [+] (-217) [-]
(Trying to install PDFlib)
Jeff: I don't know how to install this.
Howie: There should be a README.
Jeff: Yeah, there are like five of them!
Howie: Well then, get to reading!
Nick: Yeah! They're not called IGNOREME.txt.
2003-10-07 [+] (-168) [-]
(Summarized, kind of)
Shawn: So I had a Shephard's Pie last night. But it's not really a pie.
Howie: Why's that? The name is kinda misleading then, eh?
Shawn: Well, it lacks crust. Pies have crusts, so this isn't a pie.
Howie: OK, so what's in it?
Shawn: Well, it's in a bowl... it's actually more of a stew.
Howie: OK.
Shawn: See, if it had a lower crust, then it'd be a pie. See, your pizza (pointing to my pizza) is a pie coz it has a crust.
Howie: I see. So it's a stew that's posing as a pie.
(somehow this happened, which was a riot)
Shawn, in a very Oliver-type voice: But it has no crust.
(blah blah blah, other stuff was said about the lack of a crust)
Shawn: So, to be a true pie, it has to have a lower crust.
Shawn: If you put the layer of mashed potatoes as a crust, then it'd be a TRUE Shephard's Pie.
Howie: Right. SO put a method on it.
Shawn: isTruePie(). Or indexOf(crust).
Howie: indexOf(crust) has to be 0, because it's the first thing there.
(ok, this may not be all that funny now, but i can assure you that during the time it was a riot. Yes, we're both programmers. Does it show?)
2003-09-25 [+] (-114) [-]
(11:42:19) Erik The Questionable: ia m a visual learner
(11:42:30) hmspgh: ok, go somewhere and do a 'view document source'.
(11:42:31) hmspgh: then learn
(11:42:53) Erik The Questionable: well you got to plant the seed...then I'll make it grow
(11:43:45) hmspgh: im not planting my seed in you.
2003-09-19 [+] (-214) [-]
(01:14:11) Shawn Wall: kik
(01:14:12) Shawn Wall: lol
(01:14:19) hmspgh: 'kik' ?
(01:14:27) Shawn Wall: lol
(01:14:32) Shawn Wall: with fingers on wrong keys
(01:14:36) hmspgh: lol
(01:14:37) hmspgh: from now on
(01:14:39) hmspgh: its not lol
(01:14:40) hmspgh: but kik
2003-09-16 [+] (-114) [-]
(our ISP had mucked with our network, making it TEH BAD)
Carl: Now is when we should investigate other ISPs!
Nick: Yeah, email ppainter.
Howie: Who?!
Nick: Paul Painter. At [CENSORED]
Howie: Oh. Woah. I just got the wrong mental image from that.
Carl: Howie, be my canvas!
Howie: (quoting Dave Chapelle) drip drip drip, pee on you.
Carl: Make a self portrait!
2003-09-16 [+] (-63) [-]
Carl: Nick, did you set up an email account for Jessie?
Howie: I set up one for Jessie's girl.
Nick: Don't you wish you had a woman like that?
Carl: What? Did he just say he set up an account for Jessie's girl? I heard something, you all laughed, so I figured it must've been funny.
Shawn (via IM): WHERE CAN I FIND A WOMAN LIKE THAT?
2003-09-12 [+] (-189) [-]
[Talking about GCC 3.2.x on SunFreeware.com, preverts!]
(12:52:34) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: wow
(12:52:46) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: the package is double the size of the other packages
(12:52:55) hmspgh: size doesnt matter
(12:53:00) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: ;)
(12:53:07) hmspgh: HAH
(12:53:14) hmspgh: i meant that we have more than enough disk available
(12:53:19) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: oh
(12:53:20) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: ok
(12:53:21) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: sure
(12:53:26) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: that too
2003-09-03 [+] (-32) [-]
(03:00:06) Susan: one of the mimes is here.
...
(03:09:03) Susan: no, see, they're going to retire from performing & start producing.
(03:09:08) Susan: like all the rappers.
(03:09:29) hmspgh: rapper mimes
(03:09:57) Susan: now that's something. gangsta mime.
(03:10:47) hmspgh: The Notorious M.I.M.E.
2003-07-22 [+] (-118) [-]
(11:56:05) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: suck it hoe
(11:56:10) hmspgh: 'ho'
(11:56:11) hmspgh: not 'hoe'
(11:56:20) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: no, hoe
(11:56:22) hmspgh: 'hoe' is something you use to chop down plants and stuff
(11:56:25) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: cause you are a tool too
2003-07-14 [+] (-158) [-]
(05:02:58) Susan: the whole country is apparently out of white inkjet printable 2x dvd-rs.
(05:03:27) Susan: i wonder if this is what al queda meant when they said they were going to attack the usa bigger than before.
2003-07-09 [+] (-106) [-]
(Nick V. aka Pinkboy was bending over a desk, trying to get a power supply hooked up)
(Howie and Shawn start throwing pennies at him)
Howie: Nick, stay still. I almost got that one down your shorts.
Nick: Bitch, if you do that, it's on!
Shawn: Yeah, insert one penny to ride.
(Hilarity ensues)
2003-07-02 [+] (-88) [-]
(09:24:05) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: your gay
(09:24:08) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: dumbass
(09:24:12) hmspgh: "you're"
(09:24:20) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: nope
(09:24:22) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: your
(09:24:28) hmspgh: "your" is possessive.
(09:24:31) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: yep
(09:24:32) hmspgh: "you're" is "you are"
(09:24:36) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: you posses the gayness
2003-07-01 [+] (-178) [-]
(04:29:28) hmspgh: you coming with me to Lap Day at beaverun on fri ?
(04:29:38) Shawn Wall: nope
(04:29:41) hmspgh: whore
(04:30:02) Shawn Wall: i'll be drunk in my yard
(04:30:04) Shawn Wall: wrestling squirrels
(04:30:12) hmspgh: all greased up
2003-06-26 [+] (-154) [-]
(03:56:24) Susan: these guys make a ton of money
(03:57:31) hmspgh: be a mime, then
(03:57:45) hmspgh: you could be the S&J mimes
(04:00:58) Susan: i'm not spiritually inspired by the lord.
(04:01:11) Susan: that's why they make money. regular mimes don't make money.
(04:01:46) Susan: see, if you became a gospel senior software engineer, you could retire at 30.
(04:02:51) hmspgh: the LORD sayeth unto me... always name your columns in an SQL statement.
2003-06-25 [+] (-182) [-]
(10:01:42) hmspgh: coz religion ruins everything
(10:01:54) hmspgh: wanna fuck some chick? FUCKING MAKES BABY JESUS CRY.
(10:01:59) Shawn Wall: LOL
2003-06-20 [+] (-160) [-]
(04:19:39) Erik: We agreed that if we aren't married by the time we are 28 we will get married
(04:19:44) hmspgh: pfft
(04:19:50) hmspgh: id hit it
(04:19:54) Erik: dude she is smart as fuck
(04:19:54) hmspgh: maybe ill marry her
(04:19:58) Erik: my kids need those genes
...
(04:22:26) Erik: I wanna be there because I know her personality, and I know your personality
(04:22:39) hmspgh: whats her personality like ?
(04:23:30) Erik: Conservative
(04:23:46) hmspgh: and mine ?
(04:24:04) Erik: Pure Unadulterated Madness
(04:24:35) Erik: Conservative + Pure Unadulterated Madness = SHIT ON FAN!!!
2003-06-16 [+] (-178) [-]
(12:12:09) John: http://ter.air0day.com/index.php?script=matrixreloaded
(12:12:23) John: the part when neo meets 'the explainer' is the bestest.
(12:20:52) hmspgh: "isnt the matrix based on windows for workgroups?"
(12:23:26) John: well, given all it's issues, i'd say the matrix was some kind of linux distro. all kinds of apps running around not knowing what they're doing, replicating needlessly, and the humans have no idea what it's all about. even The Architect is all "i have no idea what's going on, because we don't support it." and neo is like "information should be free man!"
(12:23:50) John: the matrix is just like the "open source movement."
(12:23:52) hmspgh: so neo is RMS
...
(12:25:59) John: and morpheus is all "you must believe me. you must believe that neo is going to find a way to renice everything. i have no idea what he's talking about, but you must believe. you feel the matrix when you go to church, and when you pay your taxes, because they wrote all these really cool office apps that they're trying to stuff down your throat. you must believe."
2003-06-05 [+] (-188) [-]
(01:39:53) Susan: i like a plan.
(01:40:44) hmspgh: every plan has been an utter failure, though. plan 9 from outer space didnt work, a simple plan ended up with everyone dead or in jail, ...
(01:41:19) Susan: this is exactly why you have no girlfriend.
2003-05-22 [+] (-126) [-]
(02:03:44) hmspgh: whats the most redneck restaurant you can think of ?
(02:03:49) Shawn Wall: dennys
(02:03:54) hmspgh: besides denny's
(02:04:00) Shawn Wall: hmm
(02:04:02) hmspgh: i mean REDNECK
(02:04:09) hmspgh: like confederate flag flying redneck
(02:04:13) hmspgh: pickup trucks out front redneck
(02:04:18) Shawn Wall: like i've ever been to a place like that
(02:04:35) hmspgh: true, i suspect they dont like "them homos" there.
(02:04:41) Shawn Wall: die
2003-05-22 [+] (-188) [-]
(02:00:05) hmspgh: denny's late-nite is teh win
(02:00:11) hmspgh: its all geeks
(02:00:21) Shawn Wall: i prefer teh steak n shake
(02:00:29) hmspgh: yeah, ive heard you like to shake steak
(02:00:36) Shawn Wall: hah u're fanny
(02:00:37) Shawn Wall: funny too
(02:00:40) Shawn Wall: lol
(02:00:41) hmspgh: LOL
(02:00:42) Shawn Wall: now that
(02:00:43) Shawn Wall: was fanny
2003-05-14 [+] (-180) [-]
(10:40:20) Sue Holden: is there anything new in the house
(10:41:00) hmspgh: 'in the house' ?
(10:41:02) hmspgh: are you black now ?
(10:41:17) Sue Holden: yes, couldn't you tell
(10:41:27) hmspgh: sheeeit negro
(10:41:50) Sue Holden: do you know how much makeup I have to apply to be this white
(10:41:53) Sue Holden: shh don't tell anyone
(10:41:56) hmspgh: ok
(10:42:00) hmspgh: your secret is safe with me
(10:42:01) hmspgh: sista
(10:42:09) Sue Holden: that's soul sista
2003-05-13 [+] (-154) [-]
(09:36:55) Shawn Wall: me: i'm diggin the sub in my car
(09:36:59) Shawn Wall: joe: does it make u feel like a man?
(09:37:04) Shawn Wall: me: it makes me feel like a black man
2003-04-10 [+] (-143) [-]
(10:31:00) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: I got a metastat to work with
(10:31:10) hmspgh: so stat it
(10:31:12) hmspgh: bitch
(10:32:00) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: already did ass pirate
(10:32:11) hmspgh: so what'd it say, cuntbubble ?
(10:32:28) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: im looking you cum guzzling queer
(10:32:44) hmspgh: hurry up, assilingus lips
(10:32:57) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: ROFL
(10:33:08) hmspgh: i win
(10:33:08) hmspgh: :P
2003-03-28 [+] (-96) [-]
(03:31:11) hmspgh: dude
(03:31:12) hmspgh: omg
(03:31:17) Shawn Wall: i dont wanna know
(03:31:21) hmspgh: i was about to start believing in a god
(03:31:24) hmspgh: if only he could make it stop
(03:31:25) Shawn Wall: lol
(03:31:27) Shawn Wall: lol
(03:31:38) hmspgh: i thought i was going to puke out body parts
(03:31:39) hmspgh: then
(03:31:44) Shawn Wall: lol
(03:31:45) hmspgh: i thought i was going to shit out body parts
(03:31:50) Shawn Wall: pissin
(03:31:51) Shawn Wall: out
(03:31:51) Shawn Wall: the
(03:31:52) Shawn Wall: ass
(03:31:55) hmspgh: damn skippy
(03:32:00) Shawn Wall: NASTAY
2003-03-28 [+] (-18) [-]
(01:14:13) Shawn Wall: Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous. 12-step support group for the sexually compulsive and/or excessively emotionally dependent. Various days and times. 412/441-0956.
(01:14:15) Shawn Wall: now there
(01:14:18) Shawn Wall: is a place to meet chicks
(01:14:27) hmspgh: fp
2003-03-28 [+] (-115) [-]
(note that 2003-03-28 is a Friday)
Sue Holden: wow, it feels like a Friday.
Shawn Wall: um
Howie: um
Jeff Robbins: um
Shawn, Howie, and Jeff: that's because it _is_ a Friday!
Sue Holden: no it's not!
Shawn, Howie, and Jeff: uh, yes it is.
Sue Holden: what happened to Thursday?!?!
2003-03-27 [+] (45) [-]
(it's funny because it's true)
(01:28:29) Kris: dude, i'm a windows programmer.. do you think i really _care_ about security?
2003-03-26 [+] (-55) [-]
(11:52:06) Erik: I made a transaction such that I got to play [Zelda] last nite
(11:52:47) Erik: and it wasn't with shawn
(11:52:57) Erik: and it had nothing to do with cock
(11:53:05) Erik: cause i know what you are thinking
2003-03-17 [+] (-85) [-]
(yes, this really happened)
Carl: Hey Nick, what's Amy's last name?
Nick: Amy who?
2003-03-13 [+] (-65) [-]
Nick V. aka Pinkboy (12:00:42 PM): hey, do you have any naked pictures of *CENSORED*?
Shawn Wall (12:00:49 PM): die
Nick V. aka Pinkboy (12:00:55 PM): wanna buy some?
Shawn Wall (12:01:02 PM): die sooner
2003-03-10 [+] (-223) [-]
gretchen: the trials of being human.
Sean Gebhart: just hope I get a not guilty verdict
Sean Gebhart: or at least acquitted
gretchen: well in the words of our lady peace we are all innocent.
Sean Gebhart: yeah, but I've seen people's exhibit A through Double T and it doesn't look good.
2003-03-06 [+] (-103) [-]
Howie (to Shawn Wall): You named a variable 'package'. Why don't you just call it, 'if'?!
2003-03-06 [+] (-102) [-]
(09:01:19) Erik: i feel like shit today
(09:02:23) hmspgh: whats that feel like ?
(09:02:35) hmspgh: see, ive never felt shit. ive looked at shit. ive smelled shit. never touched it.
(09:02:38) Erik: well my eyes are heavy
(09:03:09) Erik: U never had a dog or a cat?
(09:03:12) hmspgh: nope
(09:03:51) Erik: Well then shit can have all kinds of feelings depending on its current state
(09:04:37) Erik: You have shit before, so I am going to assume that you can relate to what I am saying here to some degree
(09:05:25) Erik: Basically.....just as there are different states of your shit, there are different states of feeling like shit.
(09:06:08) Erik: today I would venture to say that I am feeling likeyour ordinary day to day shit.
(09:06:42) Erik: Unless of course you are one of thousands of americans who suffer from irratable bowel syndrome
(09:07:03) Erik: in which case I would feel better than thier day to day ordinary shits
2003-03-06 [+] (-18) [-]
Sean Gebhart: I only know one child, my friend Alison's little brother
Sean Gebhart: and he's the most hyper person I've ever seen in my life
gretchen: lol
gretchen: does he need ritalin?
Sean Gebhart: no, he needs a bed with restraints
2003-03-05 [+] (-125) [-]
(03:21:20) hmspgh: gah
(03:21:23) hmspgh: i hate this shit
(03:21:29) Shawn Wall: u love *CENSORED*
(03:21:36) hmspgh: i love her when shes not talking
(03:21:48) Shawn Wall: shut her up then
(03:21:58) hmspgh: shit yeah brotha
(03:22:07) Shawn Wall: LOL
(03:22:19) hmspgh: fp ?
(03:22:25) Shawn Wall: old school
2003-02-26 [+] (-217) [-]
(04:07:14) hmspgh: quiet, monkeyblower
<Kris went away (04:07:31 PM)>
2003-02-25 [+] (-208) [-]
Jeff R. (2:18:08 PM): yo Nick
Nick V. Aka Pinkboy (2:18:13 PM): yo Jeff
Jeff R. (2:18:25 PM): Do you have any super glue?
Nick V. Aka Pinkboy (2:18:47 PM): I can spoog on you and you can let it dry
Nick V. Aka Pinkboy (2:18:51 PM): will that work ?
Jeff R. (2:19:04 PM): d00d, that is beyond sick.
Nick V. Aka Pinkboy (2:19:41 PM): yes it was
2003-02-21 [+] (-284) [-]
(if you know me, this is really, really funny)
(10:59:50) Lorri: want to borrow the van?
(11:00:02) hmspgh: nah, i can rent a u-haul
(11:00:08) Lorri: howie.....driving a minivan
(11:00:11) hmspgh: heh
(11:00:12) Lorri: heh heeeee
(11:00:14) Lorri: oh my
(11:00:17) hmspgh: not even a bmw minivan :)
(11:00:18) Lorri: I am going to pee myself
(11:00:26) Lorri: howie the soccer mom
2003-02-21 [+] (-188) [-]
John: What were you doing at a bar? You shouldn't be looking for love at a bar.
Howie: I wasn't looking for love!
John: Then what were you looking for?
Howie: Chicken quesadillas!
John: Oh.
...
John: You should put that on the funny page.
2003-02-20 [+] (-227) [-]
(01:07:55) Sue Holden: just because it didn't contain the phrase blow job doesn't mean it's not funny
2003-02-20 [+] (-88) [-]
(02:40:00) Sue Holden: loser
(02:40:57) hmspgh: suckit
(02:41:05) Sue Holden: you suckit
(02:41:28) hmspgh: you first
(02:41:45) Sue Holden: why you are the loser
(02:41:48) Sue Holden: i'm sure nick would
(02:41:53) hmspgh: im sure nick would, too.
2003-02-19 [+] (-179) [-]
(04:04:53) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: he is an ass
(04:04:59) hmspgh: he's more than an ass
(04:05:00) hmspgh: he's
(04:05:01) hmspgh: two asses
2003-02-19 [+] (-104) [-]
(04:09:14) Sue Holden: though really, i never smelled your feet before
(04:09:26) hmspgh: be grateful
(04:09:36) hmspgh: they're TEH STANK
(04:09:42) hmspgh: they smell worse than a $5 hooker
(04:09:54) Sue Holden: and you've had a $5 hooker?
(04:10:00) hmspgh: hasnt everyone had shawn's mom ?
2003-02-19 [+] (-213) [-]
(04:19:08) Shawn Wall: then i almost wrote
(04:19:09) Shawn Wall: poasting
(04:19:11) Shawn Wall: after that
(04:19:14) Shawn Wall: bug i used backspace
(04:19:17) Shawn Wall: BUT
(04:19:18) Shawn Wall: LOL
(04:19:25) Shawn Wall: i'm done, i quit
2003-02-18 [+] (-183) [-]
(10:52:39) Sue Holden: how did you get into the door today with your head so big
(10:52:41) Sue Holden: hahaha
(10:52:50) hmspgh: same way you get in the door with your ass so big
2003-02-17 [+] (-79) [-]
hmspgh (9:06:56AM): im doing a cvs update
carl (9:10:03AM): I'm cleaning my oven!
hmspgh (9:10:13AM): HAHA
hmspgh (9:10:33AM): in high school, 'cleaning the oven' meant you were smoking pot
carl (9:12:09AM): in high school, 'cleaning the oven' meant you were 'cleaning your oven'. 'I'm smoking pot' meant that you were smoking pot.
hmspgh (9:12:32AM): yes, well, we couldnt be quite that brazen.
carl (9:12:43AM): it was the 70's man
hmspgh (9:13:01AM): have you noticed that "man" always seems to follow "the 70's" ?
carl (9:13:32AM): they're inseperable
2003-02-14 [+] (-240) [-]
(01:49:23) Erik: Yes...I feel that
(01:49:55) Erik: Sometimes it is tough to respect band when thier followers are so retarded
(01:50:23) Erik: did i just say "i feel that"
(01:50:28) hmspgh: i think so
(01:50:31) hmspgh: im still in shock, really.
(01:50:40) Erik: must be my recessive black genes
(01:50:53) Erik: my dad grew up in the hill district you know
(01:52:13) hmspgh: you're turning into a brotha
(01:53:03) Erik: Maybe my dick will get bigger too....that would be phat!!
2003-02-14 [+] (-74) [-]
(10:17:51) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: plus, the chick is super hot that just started this company
(10:17:55) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: maybe you could bang her ?
(10:17:58) hmspgh: hah
(10:18:00) hmspgh: yeah, ill host it
(10:18:04) hmspgh: and do her
(10:18:05) hmspgh: mail
(10:18:08) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: LOL
(10:18:14) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: you should have paused longer
2003-02-14 [+] (-242) [-]
Sue Holden: Why is it that everyone's saying we're supposed to get 6 inches of snow, but the weather report says we're only due to get 1"?
Howie: Well, you know how all men exaggerate.
...
(02:47:15) Shawn Wall: i found it funny
(02:47:20) Shawn Wall: cuz i didnt know where it was goin
2003-02-13 [+] (-139) [-]
(12:39:51) Kris: so i ended up with this chick last weekend.
(12:39:57) Kris: she was hot, seemed nice and all..
(12:40:03) Kris: we went out to movies, then bar, then my place.
(12:40:09) hmspgh: and
(12:40:12) hmspgh: she turned out to be a guy
(12:40:16) Kris: to quote you, "she was like something out of fight club"
(12:40:30) Kris: kept it going until about 2 (we got there ~9), and
(12:40:33) Kris: then we went to the diner.
(12:40:37) Kris: and at the diner,
(12:40:40) hmspgh: she asked for money
(12:40:42) Kris: she told me she was dating someone.
(12:40:47) Kris: lol, you're a dork.
2003-02-11 [+] (-219) [-]
...
Howie: If Shawn can get with a cow, anything's possible.
Shawn: Damn straight.
Nick: Which you're not!
2003-02-11 [+] (-148) [-]
[Erik just got the Zelda bonus disc for the GameCube]
Erik D.: who the fuck would wanna play the original....then have to play the extended version
Erik D.: I know I am being all pissy now, but I know I will do it
Erik D.: cause I am big pussy
2003-02-10 [+] (-247) [-]
(03:03:10) Carl Kelly: "Triple T gonna' bring a load of pain on your ass"
(03:03:20) Carl Kelly: errr..
(03:03:20) Carl Kelly: in
(03:03:27) hmspgh: I FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE IN THIS CONVERSATION
(03:03:32) Carl Kelly: you should
(03:04:08) hmspgh: fp
2003-02-08 [+] (-265) [-]
Shawn Wall (11:03:49AM): zelda discs this week
Shawn Wall (11:03:50AM): woop
hmspgh (11:04:06AM): i cant think about anything but moving.
Shawn Wall (11:04:13AM): and sucking cock
Shawn Wall (11:04:16AM): thats always on your mind too
hmspgh (11:04:28AM): worst case of $650 to move my stuff
Shawn Wall (11:04:34AM): that aint bad
hmspgh (11:04:48AM): yeah, especially since $600 is for lifting your mom's fat ass out of my bed.
Shawn Wall (11:04:53AM): lol
Shawn Wall (11:04:59AM): i'll admit, that was good
hmspgh (11:05:03AM): fp worthy ?
Shawn Wall (11:05:08AM): i believe
2003-02-08 [+] (-139) [-]
Shawn Wall (11:32:21AM): your zelda discs ship?
hmspgh (11:32:31AM): no; i forgot to tell them to ship the bonus cds first
Shawn Wall (11:32:35AM): oops
hmspgh (11:32:39AM): yeah
hmspgh (11:32:41AM): oops indeed
hmspgh (11:32:52AM): much like when i was fucking your mom and slipped and wound up in her ass
Shawn Wall (11:33:01AM): 'you know you're in my ass, right?
hmspgh (11:33:05AM): not just my cock, mind you, but MY WHOLE BODY
Shawn Wall (11:33:08AM): lol
Shawn Wall (11:33:11AM): nastay
hmspgh (11:33:14AM): very
hmspgh (11:33:26AM): almost as nastay as CENSORED not showering for a day then asking me to go down on her
Shawn Wall (11:33:30AM): omg
2003-02-08 [+] (-149) [-]
hmspgh (4:21:56PM): fuck this shit is slow
Nick V. Aka Pinkboy (4:22:01PM): what ?
hmspgh (4:22:06PM): bringing up a details pg on exppa
Nick V. Aka Pinkboy (4:22:19PM): where is it at ?
hmspgh (4:22:31PM): just bring up the homepage and click on 'upcoming events'
Nick V. Aka Pinkboy (4:22:34PM): ok
Nick V. Aka Pinkboy (4:23:20PM): ummm
Nick V. Aka Pinkboy (4:23:25PM): it wasnt that slow
hmspgh (4:23:31PM): click on the lower ones
hmspgh (4:23:32PM): you know
hmspgh (4:23:38PM): you like the things down low
Nick V. Aka Pinkboy (4:23:56PM): uh, do I look like shawn wall ?
hmspgh (4:23:58PM): i dont see any exceptions being thrown
Nick V. Aka Pinkboy (4:23:59PM): w00t w00t
Nick V. Aka Pinkboy (4:24:06PM): FP that shit mother fucker
Nick V. Aka Pinkboy (4:24:13PM): yeah, that is a little slow
hmspgh (4:24:18PM): slow like shawn's mom
Nick V. Aka Pinkboy (4:24:38PM): nothing better than a slow chick that can do a DVDA
hmspgh (4:24:53PM): now that
hmspgh (4:24:54PM): is fp worthy
2003-02-06 [+] (-184) [-]
(02:54:41) hmspgh: YOU SHAKE IT
(02:54:45) hmspgh: IT SHOOTS THE STUFF
(02:54:53) Shawn Wall: ph33r my shaking t3kn1q
(02:55:00) hmspgh: you must do it quite often
(02:55:39) Shawn Wall: hmm
(02:55:41) Shawn Wall: not as much lately
(02:55:47) hmspgh: T
(02:55:48) hmspgh: M
(02:55:48) hmspgh: I
(02:56:01) hmspgh: fp
...
(03:01:47) Shawn Wall: GOD DAMN U
(03:01:52) Shawn Wall: I HATE JOO
2003-02-06 [+] (-302) [-]
(02:52:44) Sue Holden: and then he would come creepin to my desk and I'd have to talk to him!
(02:52:49) Sue Holden: fate worse than death
(02:52:53) hmspgh: thats why you have mace.
(02:52:57) hmspgh: just scream
(02:52:59) hmspgh: BAD TOUCH
(02:53:01) hmspgh: and mace him
2003-02-06 [+] (-222) [-]
(03:05:12) Kris: now we're looking at new SCM's, and they won't use cvs 'cause "it's too hard,"
(03:05:26) Kris: and we might switch to another because they found a "crack" for the demo.. siiiiigh.
2003-02-05 [+] (-227) [-]
(04:46:12) Shawn Wall: do their queries have mad girth
(04:46:24) Shawn Wall: :D
(04:46:34) hmspgh: um
(04:46:39) hmspgh: it scares me that you're thinking of my cock.
(04:46:46) Shawn Wall: uh
(04:46:49) Shawn Wall: not quite
(04:47:08) hmspgh: ok then, it scares me EVEN MORE than you're thinking of somebody sucking my cock and commenting on it.
(04:47:27) Shawn Wall: lol
2003-02-04 [+] (-116) [-]
(04:21:41) hmspgh: in the words of shawn wall
(04:21:57) hmspgh: "grmph grmph grmph get that out of my mouth!"
(04:24:18) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: ROFL!!!
(04:24:55) hmspgh: YOU
(04:24:57) hmspgh: ARE ON CRACK
(04:25:10) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: and Shawn is in the crack
(04:25:33) hmspgh: shawn said you're the one that's mysteriously gay
(04:27:16) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: hmm, lets compare....../me who is married to a hot ass wife or shawn who has a hard time with the ladies and somehow feels more comfortable around the company of men ???
(04:27:16) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: hmmm
(04:27:16) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: you do the math
2003-01-24 [+] (-191) [-]
(at the cafe)
Howie: I'd like some hot chocolate. And this here brownie.
Cashier: OK.
Shawn Wall: I'd like some white hot chocolate.
Howie: Racist.
Shawn Wall: And some whipped cream. Coz it's white.
...
Howie: There's your hot chocolate, Mr Grand Dragon of the KKK.
2003-01-23 [+] (-239) [-]
(11:34:43) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: he makes your unix sk1llz seem like that of a 4 yr old
(11:34:54) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: he is ub3r l33t
(11:35:24) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: I am about 6 martinis away from humpin the d00d
2003-01-22 [+] (-243) [-]
(04:41:52) hmspgh: R
(04:41:53) hmspgh: I
(04:41:55) hmspgh: err
(04:41:56) hmspgh: R
(04:41:56) hmspgh: O
(04:41:57) hmspgh: F
(04:41:57) hmspgh: L
(04:42:00) Shawn Wall: RIFL
(04:42:05) Shawn Wall: that aint write
2003-01-22 [+] (-173) [-]
(01:33:48) John: because arguing on teh intarweb makes you retarded.
(01:34:04) hmspgh: 'makes' you retarded ?
(01:34:13) John: yes.
(01:34:13) hmspgh: i'd say arguing on teh intarweb proves you're retarded
(01:34:19) John: well, it's both.
(01:34:52) John: you further enlarge what i like to call the "re-re quotient" by arguing.
(01:35:27) John: after awhile, it's impossible to prove to someone that you AREN'T a retard when it comes to teh intarweb.
(01:35:27) hmspgh: until i came here, i had never heard 'rere' before
(01:35:48) John: case in point:
"IM HARDCORE I SWEAR"
(01:36:22) John: if you have to TELL me you ARE something, you obviously AREN'T.
2003-01-22 [+] (-177) [-]
(on phone)
Mike: So I met this really cool guy at a bar here, but I'm not sure if I should be hanging out with him.
Me: Why not? If you like him, go for it.
Mike: Yeah, but he's Vietnamese.
Me: So?
Mike: And his name is Charlie.
Me: Oh.
Mike: Yeah. I think I've watched Platoon one time too many.
2003-01-21 [+] (-127) [-]
(on the phone)
Jeff: I broke up with Kristy.
Me: Really? Dude, that sucks. You OK?
Jeff: Yeah. I can get a better blowjob by jerking off.
Me: (falls in floor laughing)
Jeff: And my hand doesn't like lobster.
2003-01-21 [+] (-131) [-]
(03:48:38) John: that's a shame.
(03:50:08) hmspgh: that it is
(03:51:11) John: know what else is a shame?
(03:51:33) hmspgh: a lot of things
(03:51:35) John: that my toilet has done nothing terrible to me, but i'm still going to take a nasty shit in it.
2003-01-21 [+] (-300) [-]
(walking back from a cafe with coffee and bagels and juice):
Shawn Wall: They can't get themselves coffee.
Me: What? What's idiotic!
Shawn Wall: Yeah, so I'm not just doing this because I'm a homo.
2003-01-21 [+] (-175) [-]
(03:54:20) John: i wonder how many miles of shit i've taken in my lifetime?
(03:54:28) John: time for the calculator.
2003-01-20 [+] (-239) [-]
(12:05:03) hmspgh: http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/cruelty.html
...
(12:31:30) John: old testament god kicks ass.
(12:32:31) John: it's like the old testament was all
(12:32:39) John: "do this thing for me or die!"
(12:32:44) John: "we don't know how to do it."
(12:32:49) John: "then you die!"
(12:32:56) John: "now do this thing."
(12:33:01) John: "ok we did it."
(12:33:09) John: "wrong! now you die!"
(12:33:22) John: "ok, i'm just going to kill all of you for no reason."
(12:33:24) John: "why?"
(12:33:27) John: "DIE!"
(12:33:38) John: then the new testament is a fucking soap opera.
2003-01-17 [+] (-252) [-]
(01:11) Erik: We should open a canday store that sells nuts
(01:11) Shawn Wall: lol
(01:11) Erik: and call it D's Nuts
2003-01-17 [+] (-104) [-]
(12:07:16) Erik: did shawn go to get one of his fromunda cheese sandwhiches?
(01:06:35) hmspgh: eh ?
(01:07:00) Erik: you know...fromunda cheese
(01:07:14) Erik: it's cheese fromunda deez nutz
2003-01-17 [+] (-185) [-]
(04:47) Erik: you gotta admit she is one pice of ass
(04:47) Erik: thie pie looks fresh too
(04:47) Shawn Wall: did u just say
(04:47) Shawn Wall: the pie looks fresh?
(04:47) Erik: Yes I did
(04:48) Shawn Wall: that
(04:48) Shawn Wall: was special
2003-01-16 [+] (-96) [-]
(01:15:08) Shawn Wall: yes
(01:15:12) Shawn Wall: i was smokin the rock
(01:15:16) Shawn Wall: during lunch
(01:15:18) hmspgh: tr r c
(01:15:26) Shawn Wall: die
(01:15:28) Shawn Wall: now
(for those of you without unix tekniq, tr r c replaces the letter r with the letter c)
2003-01-16 [+] (-226) [-]
(10:29:36) John: wanna hear me talk about shit or my balls again?
2003-01-16 [+] (-250) [-]
(10:24:06) hmspgh: d00d
(10:24:11) hmspgh: java.beans r0x0rz your b0x0rz
(10:24:18) Shawn Wall: i like beans
(10:24:19) Shawn Wall: woo woo woo
(10:24:21) Shawn Wall: i like beans
(10:24:22) Shawn Wall: how bout u
(10:24:24) Shawn Wall: high in fiber
(10:24:25) Shawn Wall: low in fat
(10:24:28) Shawn Wall: hey i bet u didnt know that!
(10:24:36) Shawn Wall: [brak from space ghost]
...
(10:25:17) John: see? that's why you need to watch space ghost.
2003-01-15 [+] (-287) [-]
(10:35:44) John: dude. it's so fucking cold outside.
(10:36:19) hmspgh: yes
(10:36:20) hmspgh: it is
(10:36:24) hmspgh: i highly recommend not going outside.
(10:38:10) John: i went out to clean off susan's car and my nuts retreated so fast i actually lifted about a foot off the ground.
(10:38:12) John: no shit.
(10:38:39) John: like a fucking cat up a lightpole.
2003-01-14 [+] (-168) [-]
(09:23:42) Jenny: I KEEP GETTING EMAILS ABOUT GROWING MY PENIS NATURALLY
2003-01-13 [+] (-134) [-]
Overheard:
Zach Hraber (4:05:25 PM): hey
Nick V. aka Pinkboy (4:05:31 PM): ho
Nick V. aka Pinkboy (4:05:42 PM): The white man has got to go
2003-01-13 [+] (-300) [-]
(10:37:54) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: renob is boner backwards
(10:38:02) hmspgh: oookay
(10:38:05) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: and boner backwards can be fun
(10:38:08) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: :)
...
(10:38:41) Shawn Wall: nick is mysteriously gay
...
(04:17:16) Nick V. aka Pinkboy: i am going to pay 4 big black guys to rape you in the parking garage if you dont take off the mysteriously gay comment
2003-01-13 [+] (-332) [-]
Overheard:
Zach Hraber (4:05:25 PM): hey
Nick V. aka Pinkboy (4:05:31 PM): ho
Nick V. aka Pinkboy (4:05:42 PM): The white man has got to go
2003-01-10 [+] (-282) [-]
(02:25) Erik D.: i feel like I could shit my pants
(02:25) Shawn Wall: oh really
(02:25) Erik D.: yes
(02:25) Erik D.: cause I am too tired to go to the can
(02:25) Shawn Wall: that
(02:25) Shawn Wall: shall reach the fp
2003-01-10 [+] (-94) [-]
(14:09:38)Shawn Wall:guess what
(14:09:46)hmspgh:you're gay
(14:09:50)Shawn Wall:SHE HAD YOUR COCK IN YOUR MOUTH
(14:09:55)Shawn Wall:THAT AINT WRITE
(14:10:11)Shawn Wall:damn
(14:10:15)Shawn Wall:oops
(14:10:18)Shawn Wall:i think that was even funnier tho
2003-01-10 [+] (-326) [-]
[ this really happened @ around 4.00PM ]:
(Walking back from Zach's desk, I use the airspray can to shoot the side of Shawn's head. He hits me.)
Shawn: That's not fair, I can't get you unless your back is turned to the window, like if you were looking out and jerking off.
Me: But then I'd rip my balls off.
(Shawn wall came over to my desk)
Me: Have a mint (holding up can of Penguin mints)
Shawn: I've already got two in my mouth.
[Shawn proceeds to fall over laughing]
2003-01-03 [+] (-164) [-]
(11:20:00) John: ok. somehow i managed to lose the entire filter directory on my machine.
(11:20:02) John: wtf?
(11:20:06) John: it was there YESTERDAY.
(11:20:22) hmspgh: ack
(11:20:30) John: your files expire and evaporate or something?
(11:21:51) John: motherfucker.
(11:21:58) John: i hate when shit like this happens.
(11:22:17) John: i was all ready to ROCK OUT and now i can't ROCK OUT because i can't find my filter.
(11:22:42) John: so i'll have to listen to candyass instead and hope i don't get any gayer.
...
(12:04:28) John: this orgy crap isn't bad though. i just wish it were more KICK ASS and a little less LISTEN TO GAY TALK ABOUT FUCKING SOME GIRL.
2003-01-03 [+] (-299) [-]
(09:22:58) hmspgh: w00t
(09:23:38) Shawn Wall: lickit
[NOTE: AT THIS POINT, I GOT AN EMAIL FROM SHAWN ASKING ME TO UPLOAD A NEW PHOTO FOR A CLIENT'S WEBSITE]
(09:24:55) hmspgh: and yes, i could, if you ask me nicely
(09:25:06) Shawn Wall: uh
(09:25:08) Shawn Wall: oh
(09:25:12) hmspgh: err
(09:25:12) Shawn Wall: dood
(09:25:13) Shawn Wall: u scared me
(09:25:14) hmspgh: nonono
(09:25:16) Shawn Wall: i thought u meant lick it
(09:25:44) Shawn Wall: *i feel uncomfortable in this im conversation*
(09:25:47) Shawn Wall: *walks away*
(09:25:48) hmspgh: HAHAHAHA
(09:25:51) Shawn Wall: u
(09:25:52) Shawn Wall: r
(09:25:54) Shawn Wall: teh gay
(09:27:21) hmspgh: I MEAN THE DAMN PHILLYFUNGUIDE PHOTO