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Astronomy
Hilarious (sometimes) AIM Conversations
If you don't understand the rating system you have deep issues. Yes I rewrote it to be easier and resemble QDB.
To look at 2024's funnies, go here
To look at 2023's funnies, go here
To look at 2022's funnies, go here
To look at 2021's funnies, go here
To look at 2020's funnies, go here
To look at 2019's funnies, go here
To look at 2018's funnies, go here
To look at 2017's funnies, go here
To look at 2016's funnies, go here
To look at 2015's funnies, go here
To look at 2014's funnies, go here
To look at 2013's funnies, go here
To look at 2012's funnies, go here
To look at 2011's funnies, go here
To look at 2010's funnies, go here
To look at 2009's funnies, go here
To look at 2008's funnies, go here
To look at 2007's funnies, go here
To look at 2006's funnies, go here
To look at 2005's funnies, go here
To look at 2004's funnies, go here
To look at 2003's funnies, go here
To be a fag and just look at the funniest ones, go here
2002-12-30 [+] (-224) [-]
(11:02:29) Shawn Wall: and u speaked to her at all why?
(11:02:31) Shawn Wall: spoke
(11:02:33) Shawn Wall: heheh
(11:02:58) Shawn Wall: that aint right
2002-12-30 [+] (-120) [-]
(02:57:28) hmspgh: you LOVE the cock
(02:58:06) Shawn Wall: u ARE the cock
(02:58:12) hmspgh: so
(02:58:14) hmspgh: you love me ?
(02:58:14) hmspgh: ew
(02:58:15) hmspgh: ewewew
(02:58:17) Shawn Wall: no
(02:58:18) Shawn Wall: no
(02:58:18) Shawn Wall: no
(02:58:22) hmspgh: (02:57:28) hmspgh: you LOVE the cock
(02:58:06) Shawn Wall: u ARE the cock
(02:58:24) Shawn Wall: i must now murder u
(02:58:25) hmspgh: THUSLY
2002-12-20 [+] (-78) [-]
(04:41:59) Nick V aka Pinkboy: hey
(04:42:04) Nick V aka Pinkboy: did dell come today
(04:42:05) Nick V aka Pinkboy: ?
(04:42:08) hmspgh: yes
(04:42:11) hmspgh: all over shawn's face
(04:42:12) Nick V aka Pinkboy: cool
(04:42:15) Nick V aka Pinkboy: ROFL
(04:42:18) Nick V aka Pinkboy: oh my god
2002-12-16 [+] (-57) [-]
(03:45:50) Shawn Wall: stop
(03:45:50) Shawn Wall: now
(03:45:52) hmspgh: no
(03:46:03) hmspgh: only if you stop bathing in rogaine
(03:46:08) Shawn Wall: LOL
2002-12-08 [+] (-166) [-]
hmspgh (10:20:30AM): sex is like pizza
hmspgh (10:20:34AM): even when its bad, its still good
Shawn Wall (10:20:37AM): but
Shawn Wall (10:20:41AM): there's a difference
Shawn Wall (10:20:44AM): between teh thin crust
Shawn Wall (10:20:46AM): and microwave shit
2002-12-03 [+] (-203) [-]
(10:46:46) Erik: GHive me your phone number so I can call you tonight while I am playing it
(10:47:03) Erik: And you can listen to me having fun
(10:47:07) hmspgh: im not giving you phones3x0rz
(10:47:35) Erik: Shawn will give it to me
(10:47:45) hmspgh: my # or phonesex0rz ?
2002-12-03 [+] (-205) [-]
(12:06:51) hmspgh: now shes 'the lady' ?
(12:06:55) Shawn Wall: well
(12:06:56) Shawn Wall: your mom
(12:07:01) Shawn Wall: and erik's mom
(12:07:02) Shawn Wall: 3some
(12:07:09) hmspgh: ew
(12:07:14) Shawn Wall: tons o fun
(12:07:14) hmspgh: im not sure a bed could fit all 3 of you
(12:07:20) Shawn Wall: bed
(12:07:21) Shawn Wall: fuck that
(12:07:26) Shawn Wall: outside in a parking lot
(12:07:29) Shawn Wall: under a circus tent
(12:07:34) Shawn Wall: elephant show
(12:07:48) Shawn Wall: throwin peanuts at your mom
(12:07:50) Shawn Wall: she's snatchin em up
(12:07:58) Shawn Wall: SNATCHIN
2002-12-03 [+] (37) [-]
(12:07:43) Sue Holden: so what are we doing for lunch
(12:07:49) hmspgh: your mom
(12:08:09) Sue Holden: i'll come over there and smack you
(12:08:13) Sue Holden: and yes I promise
(12:08:14) hmspgh: i dont have $3.95
(12:08:42) Sue Holden: i'll smack you up for free and it WILL hurt!
(12:08:47) hmspgh: smack me up
(12:08:50) hmspgh: SMACK MY ASS
(12:08:51) hmspgh: CALL ME SALLY
(12:11:29) hmspgh: ok
(12:11:31) hmspgh: what we doing
2002-11-22 [+] (-148) [-]
(11:08:17) hmspgh: although if you come by you may be able to snag some tubesteak
(11:08:18) Jenny: you never know
(11:08:26) Jenny: huh?
(11:08:41) hmspgh: youve never had tubesteak ?
(11:09:08) Jenny: no
(11:09:32) hmspgh: you sure ?
(11:09:39) Jenny: what is it?
(11:09:47) hmspgh: i think youll like it
2002-11-22 [+] (-174) [-]
(12:50:05) Shawn Wall: http://www.cnn.com/2002/WORLD/europe/11/22/health.laptop.reut/index.html
(12:56:33) hmspgh: Two days later, the blisters broke and the wounds became infected and then crusted
(12:56:34) hmspgh: UCH
(12:56:36) hmspgh: err
(12:56:37) hmspgh: OUCH
(12:56:38) Shawn Wall: i saw
(12:56:39) Shawn Wall: i cried
(12:56:49) Shawn Wall: i felt the pain
(12:56:51) Shawn Wall: but excuse me
(12:56:52) Shawn Wall: question
(12:56:55) hmspgh: 12"
(12:57:00) Shawn Wall: HOW DO U NOT KNOW YOUR COCK IS GETTING BURNT
2002-11-20 [+] (-155) [-]
(03:33:47) hmspgh: maybe, as custom plates, ill get two that make sense together
(03:33:48) hmspgh: heh
(03:35:15) hmspgh: jeff suggested one as '2 4 ME' and the other as '0 4 U'
(03:35:21) Shawn Wall: how about
(03:35:21) Shawn Wall: ho
(03:35:23) Shawn Wall: and mo
(03:35:33) hmspgh: hookar
2002-11-19 [+] (-111) [-]
(09:44:30) Shawn Wall: I HAD A COCK IN MY MOUTH THE WHOLE TIME
2002-11-18 [+] (-236) [-]
(at lunch):
Shawn Wall: Will that satiate your hunger?
Joe Meadows: What?
Shawn Wall: Joe, will this [points at pizza] satiate your hunger?
Joe Meadows: What? Huh?
Shawn Wall: I'll use smaller words. Will this fill you up?!
2002-11-18 [+] (-146) [-]
(04:08:06) hmspgh: trying to tell me how jsp:include works
(04:08:10) hmspgh: whats wrong with you, boy ?
(04:10:37) Shawn Wall: dood
(04:10:40) hmspgh: http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2002/11/16/201318/67
(04:10:43) Shawn Wall: i used imports all the time
(04:10:48) Shawn Wall: and i had to touch shit
(04:10:55) hmspgh: i bet you did
(04:10:56) Shawn Wall: I HAD TO TOUCH SHIT
(04:10:57) Shawn Wall: DO U HEAR ME
(04:10:59) Shawn Wall: TOUCH IT
(04:11:03) Shawn Wall: SO I REMEMBER
(04:11:06) Shawn Wall: TOUCHING SHIT
2002-11-16 [+] (-94) [-]
Shawn Wall (5:55:27PM): tea baggin
Shawn Wall (5:55:33PM): thats like bilbo baggins
Shawn Wall (5:55:36PM): his long lost brother
Shawn Wall (5:55:37PM): tea baggins
hmspgh (5:55:42PM): HAHAHAHAHAHA
Shawn Wall (5:55:45PM): dood, thats on the fp
Shawn Wall (5:55:49PM): lol
2002-11-16 [+] (-31) [-]
(04:44:38) Erik: Shit if you make it 100 I will come over to your office grab her by the neck and pet her lips around his dick
(04:44:56) hmspgh: assuming you could find his dick
(04:45:13) Erik: shawnwalldotcom: and thank u for having some faith in my game
shawnwalldotcom: lol
Moam123: I have no faith, I am just a betting man
(04:45:44) Erik: Again for 100 bucks I would get the magnifying class out
(04:46:03) hmspgh: i dont wanna know what you'd do for $150
(04:47:28) Erik: I don't know either, but I guarantee you it would be hillarious
(04:48:49) hmspgh: i feel uncomfortable in this conversation
(04:49:21) Erik: As well you should
2002-11-15 [+] (-144) [-]
hmspgh (5:08:29 PM): crotchless panty wearing motherfucker
Erik (5:08:41 PM): mother fucker is right
hmspgh (5:08:53 PM): you fuck your mother ?
hmspgh (5:08:54 PM): d00d
hmspgh (5:08:56 PM): tmi tmi tmi
Erik (5:09:23 PM): your mother is more my speed
hmspgh (5:09:27 PM): EWWWWW
hmspgh (5:09:30 PM): TMI TMI TMI
Erik (5:09:47 PM): TMI?
hmspgh (5:09:53 PM): Too Much Information
Erik (5:10:08 PM): Yeah all up slappin that fat ass
Erik (5:10:30 PM): She speak latin too
hmspgh (5:10:35 PM): just make sure you dont drown in cellulite
Erik (5:10:51 PM): I ride that fuckin shit in
hmspgh (5:11:02 PM): *gurglegurgle* help me im drowning in TAHT ASS
Erik (5:11:51 PM): more ounces = more bounces
hmspgh (5:12:12 PM): AWWWW D0000000D
Erik (5:12:20 PM): LOL
2002-11-15 [+] (-195) [-]
(10:00:44) hmspgh: especially howie
(10:00:48) Shawn Wall: no
(10:00:49) hmspgh: since ive got seniority
(10:00:52) Shawn Wall: especially shawn
(10:00:55) Shawn Wall: cuz howie has hoes
(10:01:19) Shawn Wall: and shawn has enuf rage built up to shoot his spunk thru your skull
(10:01:20) Shawn Wall: so watch out
(10:01:34) hmspgh: fp
(10:01:39) Shawn Wall: no
(10:01:40) Shawn Wall: lol
(10:01:51) Shawn Wall: someone's gonna get a mouthful one of these days
2002-11-15 [+] (-222) [-]
(04:36:40) Shawn Wall: DO U WANT ME TO ASK HER
(04:36:42) Shawn Wall: I'LL ASK HER
(04:36:45) Shawn Wall: HEY WAITRESS
(04:36:48) Shawn Wall: WHERE DO THE HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS HANG OUT
(04:36:51) Shawn Wall: in howie's bed
(04:36:52) Shawn Wall: thats where
2002-11-14 [+] (-190) [-]
hmspgh (3:14:08 PM): maybe now they'll FUCKING PAY US SO I CAN GO TO GERMANY
Diane (3:14:18 PM): what's in germany?
hmspgh (3:16:06 PM): the autobahn
Diane (3:16:10 PM): oh god
hmspgh (3:16:14 PM): thats what i said!
2002-11-08 [+] (-234) [-]
(09:46:19) Shawn Wall: nice
(09:47:24) Shawn Wall: teh winnar
(09:47:37) hmspgh: you borking teh *CENSORED* yet ?
(09:47:43) Shawn Wall: workin on it
(09:47:52) hmspgh: work it work it
(09:47:57) Shawn Wall: *bounce bounce*
(09:48:03) hmspgh: so you dont have to jerk it jerk it
(09:48:14) Shawn Wall: lol
2002-11-06 [+] (-74) [-]
(10:00:53) hmspgh: where should their logo take you ?
(10:01:59) Diane Walters: give me a sec
(10:02:03) hmspgh: ok
(10:02:33) Diane Walters: www.VegasFreedom.com
(10:02:45) hmspgh: vegasfreedom.com ?
(10:02:52) Diane Walters: yes
(10:02:59) hmspgh: i didnt know vegas was oppressed
(10:03:04) Diane Walters: LOL
(10:03:30) hmspgh: im here all week
2002-11-04 [+] (-109) [-]
(04:07:20) Shawn Wall: sendin out emails
(04:07:31) Shawn Wall: we could right a cron job to replace her
(04:07:35) hmspgh: ROFL
(04:07:39) hmspgh: right a cron job
(04:07:41) hmspgh: ROFLROFLROFL
(04:07:44) Shawn Wall: right
(04:13:50) hmspgh: heh
2002-11-01 [+] (-131) [-]
(02:34:28) Liz: i dont get scared
(02:34:41) hmspgh: uh huh
(02:34:43) hmspgh: ms toughgirl
(02:34:47) Liz: thats me
(02:35:03) hmspgh: i know thats just a tough exterior to hide your tender insides
(02:35:06) hmspgh: like a chicken mcnugget
(02:35:12) Liz: ?!
(02:35:19) Liz: i am NOT a chicken mcnugget
(02:35:28) hmspgh: i said you were LIKE a chicken mcnugget
(02:35:36) Liz: either way!
(02:35:39) hmspgh: if you WERE a chicken mcnugget
(02:35:40) hmspgh: id say
(02:35:43) hmspgh: GET IN MY BELLY
(02:35:45) hmspgh: btu you're not
(02:35:46) hmspgh: so
(02:35:50) Liz: your weird
(02:36:02) hmspgh: yup
(02:36:05) hmspgh: i know
(02:36:48) hmspgh: heh
(02:37:48) Liz: if im a nugget, then your a bigmac
(02:38:03) hmspgh: i said you were LIKE a mcnugget
(02:38:11) hmspgh: you dont get my analogy, do you ?
(02:38:16) hmspgh: but
(02:38:19) hmspgh: am i biggie sized ?
(02:38:22) Liz: you called me a chicken mcmugget :)
(02:38:28) Liz: err
(02:38:30) Liz: nugget
(02:38:34) hmspgh: MCMUGGET
(02:38:37) hmspgh: !
(02:38:47) Liz: no, your not biggie sized
(02:38:56) hmspgh: D00D
(02:38:58) hmspgh: low blow
(02:39:05) hmspgh: fine
(02:39:09) hmspgh: if im not biggie sized
(02:39:16) Liz: then what
(02:39:28) hmspgh: i dont know
(02:39:35) Liz: hehe THOUGHT SO
(02:39:40) hmspgh: you're a kiddie meal, then.
(02:39:49) hmspgh: so HA!
(02:39:55) Liz: i cant be a whole meal
(02:40:02) hmspgh: sure you can
(02:40:16) hmspgh: mcnuggets, fries, and a drink.
(02:40:24) Liz: dont forget the toy
(02:40:35) hmspgh: where's the toy ?
(02:40:57) Liz: you always get a toy in happy meals
(02:41:00) hmspgh: heh
(02:41:00) hmspgh: ok
(02:41:09) hmspgh: *makes wooshing sound, points above TEH LIZ's head*
(02:41:17) hmspgh: ok kiddie meal
(02:41:17) Liz: yes yes i got it
(02:41:34) Liz: i just didnt want to respond :)
(02:41:38) hmspgh: uh huh
(02:42:15) Liz: im a happy meal...so that would mean, im tasty, refreshing, and fun to play with...cool ill be happy meal :P
(02:42:58) hmspgh: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
(02:43:15) hmspgh: this whole conversation is going on the funny page.
(02:43:27) Liz: hehe
(02:43:44) hmspgh: but if im a big mac, that means
(02:43:48) hmspgh: construction workers like me
(02:43:53) hmspgh: i fill them up
(02:43:53) Liz: haha
(02:44:09) hmspgh: i dont think i want to be a big mac
(02:44:22) hmspgh: then again, kiddies are playing with you, so...
(02:44:27) Liz: haha
(02:44:30) hmspgh: oooh
(02:44:33) hmspgh: ill be a mcsalad
(02:44:37) Liz: pfft
(02:44:38) hmspgh: women can shake me
(02:44:39) hmspgh: :P
(02:44:41) Liz: HAHA
(02:44:53) Liz: and feel good about it to :)
(02:44:58) hmspgh: yup
(02:45:03) hmspgh: spread their dressing around
(02:45:18) hmspgh: they like the dressing
(02:45:25) hmspgh: heh
(02:45:30) Liz: oh geez
(02:46:03) hmspgh: :P
(02:46:08) hmspgh: you ph33r my preverted mind
(02:46:27) Liz: it can be scary, yes
(02:46:42) Liz: cause you actually put thought into this :)
2002-11-01 [+] (-75) [-]
(02:19:37) Shawn Wall: dood
(02:19:39) Shawn Wall: my ass reaks
2002-11-01 [+] (-151) [-]
(01:19:11) hmspgh: i may get some cherry flavored alcohol too
(01:19:15) hmspgh: since the sour apple is... well... sour.
(01:19:20) Liz: haha
(01:19:26) Liz: very good observation :)
(01:19:34) hmspgh: its GOOD, its just sour. like, a lot sour than jones cola
(01:19:46) Liz: i thought it was jones soda
(01:20:00) hmspgh: jones cola, jones soda, jones, you know what i meant
(01:20:11) Liz: hehe ok
(01:20:12) hmspgh: the wiffleball bat awaits your arrival.
(01:20:21) Liz: so i can beat you with it?
(01:20:22) Liz: ok good
(01:20:29) hmspgh: only if you call me Sally.
2002-11-01 [+] (-149) [-]
(09:26:09) Shawn Wall: dood
(09:26:14) Shawn Wall: how do u get quicktime
(09:26:16) Shawn Wall: to play avi's
(09:26:32) hmspgh: you convert them to .mov's
(09:26:35) hmspgh: via qt6/pro
(09:26:38) Shawn Wall: oh
(09:26:45) Shawn Wall: will need to buy that one day
(09:26:50) hmspgh: i bought it
(09:26:52) hmspgh: its worth $30
(09:26:58) hmspgh: mr pirater
(09:26:59) Shawn Wall: just like your mom
2002-10-24 [+] (-90) [-]
(10:39:20) Shawn Wall: 643 jar 2.3% 0:04.83 8 128 87 21.9M- 660K 8.52M- 172M-
(10:39:22) Shawn Wall: wtf
(10:39:35) Shawn Wall: dood, mac i/o is horrid
(10:42:44) hmspgh: what have i been saying for the past month ?
(10:43:32) Shawn Wall: that u like men
2002-10-21 [+] (-137) [-]
(04:07:52) hmspgh: so i used excel to see how much im spending in a given month
(04:07:55) hmspgh: and its a lot
(04:08:40) Shawn Wall: surprise!
(04:08:45) Shawn Wall: wtf do i keep tellin u
(04:09:09) hmspgh: but
(04:09:11) Shawn Wall: single people have it rough
(04:09:12) Shawn Wall: i'm tellin u
(04:09:16) hmspgh: i should still have about $1k left
(04:09:19) hmspgh: per month
(04:09:23) Shawn Wall: ya
(04:09:28) Shawn Wall: thats around what i have left
(04:09:36) Shawn Wall: after bills, etc
(04:09:39) hmspgh: betcha my expenses dwarf yours.
(04:09:42) Shawn Wall: but then there's goin out, etc
(04:09:44) Shawn Wall: oh i'm sure
(04:09:52) hmspgh: i took into account $100/week in misc expenses
(04:09:52) Shawn Wall: just like my cock dwarfs yours
(04:10:22) Shawn Wall: that's goin on the funny page
2002-10-21 [+] (-124) [-]
(04:17:44) Shawn Wall: one of the few manly things i do
(04:17:50) Shawn Wall: is go to an old barber
(04:17:54) Shawn Wall: in a place that stinks
(04:17:59) Shawn Wall: and get my haircut
(04:18:03) Shawn Wall: surrounded by foreigners
(04:18:04) Shawn Wall: in sq. hill
(04:18:07) hmspgh: otherwise you're a girlyman
(04:18:13) Shawn Wall: pretty much
2002-10-21 [+] (-136) [-]
(03:00:19) hmspgh: ok punk
(03:00:29) Rachael: shut up slut
(03:00:32) hmspgh: hobag
(03:00:44) Rachael: cprner warmer
(03:00:55) hmspgh: cockdolphin
(03:01:17) Rachael: ummm i got nothin
(03:01:33) hmspgh: uh huh
(03:01:36) hmspgh: sit down before you fall down
2002-10-18 [+] (-119) [-]
(01:58:28) Kris: know what we need to make?
(01:58:35) hmspgh: a billion dollars ?
(01:58:59) Kris: an opengl-based video driver for XFree86 that does it's stuff via OpenGl planes, ala Quartz Extreme.
(01:59:05) Kris: well, besides that.
(01:59:08) hmspgh: oh.
(01:59:11) hmspgh: i liked my idea better.
2002-10-17 [+] (-205) [-]
(02:30:47) hmspgh: its funny
(02:31:03) hmspgh: louis is like "wtf are yo utalking about you stupid ho?"
(02:31:57) Shawn Wall: i should walk in there
(02:31:58) Shawn Wall: and say
(02:32:37) Shawn Wall: louis
(02:32:42) Shawn Wall: u want me to stick my cock in her mouth
(02:32:44) Shawn Wall: she'll shut up
(02:32:53) Shawn Wall: and in his accent
(02:32:55) Shawn Wall: he'll say
(02:32:57) Shawn Wall: shit yea brotha
2002-10-17 [+] (-130) [-]
(05:52:13) Liz: and i happen to still have the nsync cd cause im lazy
(05:52:16) hmspgh: HAHAHAHAHAHA
(05:52:18) hmspgh: admit it
(05:52:21) hmspgh: you LOVE nstink!
(05:52:24) Liz: no i do not
(05:52:28) hmspgh: you secretly follow them around!@#
(05:52:33) Liz: HAHA NO WAY
(05:52:37) hmspgh: and subscribe to Tiger Beat magazine
(05:52:38) Liz: IM HARDCORE I SWEAR
(05:52:47) hmspgh: ROFL
2002-10-16 [+] (-117) [-]
(10:09:17) Shawn Wall: i'm talkin to my friend about movin to canada
(10:09:54) hmspgh: if by 'Canada' you meant 'Germany', then cool.
(10:09:58) Shawn Wall: haha
(10:10:02) Shawn Wall: actually i meant
(10:10:03) Shawn Wall: above the usa
(10:10:06) Shawn Wall: sasquatch country
(10:10:11) Shawn Wall: with the leaf flag
(10:10:16) hmspgh: ick
(10:10:16) hmspgh: then
(10:10:21) Shawn Wall: ever been there?
(10:10:34) hmspgh: yes
(10:10:59) Shawn Wall: far better than here
(10:11:00) hmspgh: toronto, newfoundland, etc
(10:11:02) hmspgh: its colder
(10:11:07) hmspgh: and everyone says "eh"
(10:11:08) Shawn Wall: yep
(10:11:11) Shawn Wall: i like cold
(10:11:13) hmspgh: i dont
(10:11:17) Shawn Wall: u think germany would be warm
(10:11:18) Shawn Wall: haha
(10:11:43) hmspgh: germany has DAS BIER and DAS WURSTS and DER AUTOBAHN
(10:11:58) hmspgh: canada has "eh"
(10:12:03) hmspgh: thusly
(10:12:06) hmspgh: germany > canada
(10:12:19) Shawn Wall: lol!
2002-10-14 [+] (-102) [-]
(01:00:58) Shawn Wall: U.S. poultry giant Pilgrim's Pride Corp. has launched the largest U.S. meat recall in history and halted production at a Pennsylvania plant because of possible contamination with listeria.
(01:02:56) Shawn Wall: 27.4 million lbs of meat
(01:02:57) Shawn Wall: thats like
(01:02:59) Shawn Wall: your mom
2002-10-10 [+] (-114) [-]
(11:05:39) Shawn Wall: i hear teh TANKY words at pottery barn
(11:05:44) Shawn Wall: and can get a 40% discount
(11:05:51) Shawn Wall: considering the bed is 1500 bucks
(11:05:51) hmspgh: only if you lick that ass
(11:05:53) Shawn Wall: that would be nice
...
(11:14:41) Shawn Wall: dood
(11:14:45) Shawn Wall: my family reads this shit
(11:14:47) hmspgh: so ?
(11:14:56) Shawn Wall: so i dont want my aunt reading about me licking ass