|
Astronomy
Hilarious (sometimes) AIM Conversations
If you don't understand the rating system you have deep issues. Yes I rewrote it to be easier and resemble QDB.
To look at 2024's funnies, go here
To look at 2023's funnies, go here
To look at 2022's funnies, go here
To look at 2021's funnies, go here
To look at 2020's funnies, go here
To look at 2019's funnies, go here
To look at 2018's funnies, go here
To look at 2017's funnies, go here
To look at 2016's funnies, go here
To look at 2015's funnies, go here
To look at 2014's funnies, go here
To look at 2013's funnies, go here
To look at 2012's funnies, go here
To look at 2011's funnies, go here
To look at 2010's funnies, go here
To look at 2008's funnies, go here
To look at 2007's funnies, go here
To look at 2006's funnies, go here
To look at 2005's funnies, go here
To look at 2004's funnies, go here
To look at 2003's funnies, go here
To look at 2002's funnies, go here
To be a fag and just look at the funniest ones, go here
2009-11-12 [+] (-79) [-]
Russ [2:30 PM]: trying to think of phrase to search google for for bad cliq reception
Howie [2:31 PM]: "tmobile cliq asian farm porn"
Russ [2:31 PM]: lol
Russ [2:31 PM]: never thought to add in the farm keyword
Russ [2:31 PM]: I think I just figured out why I needed an android phone!
2009-10-23 [+] (-108) [-]
Alex the Mexican: damn ... this half cookie looks good now!
Howie the Awesome: eat it
Alex the Mexican: can't
Howie the Awesome: can
Alex the Mexican: Christy will kill me
Alex the Mexican: promised ... cookie@!
Howie the Awesome: are you a mexiCAN or a mexiCANT
Alex the Mexican: fuck!
(Alex starts to eat 1/4 of the cookie)
Alex the Mexican: om nom nom
Howie the Awesome: you fat fucking pig you cant save half a cookie for your wife? shows how much you love her.
Alex the Mexican: That's going to an email to her!
2009-09-15 [+] (-120) [-]
Doug [2:37 PM]: what's with the StudentCourseOffering.canDropCourse() method?
Howie [2:38 PM]: i dont know, whats with it ?
Doug [2:38 PM]: you and lakshmi made the changes a while back for team maintenence day
Doug [2:38 PM]: http://jira/browse/GS-4426
(the page says as its second line "Removed usages of methods from deprecated CosChecker.java. Deleted cos package and its contents.")
Howie [2:38 PM]: Removed usages of methods from deprecated CosChecker.java. Deleted cos package and its contents.
Doug [2:39 PM]: you are lucky i don't have arms which are 5 feet longer or i'd slap you from my seat
Howie [2:39 PM]: in that case i will taunt you a second time
2009-09-03 [+] (-160) [-]
(i picked up some paan and brought it back to the office, wherein my co-irkers devoured most of it, leaving a single piece)
Alex the Mexican: I'm not fucking around bitch
Alex the Mexican: now your cracker ass is going to offer the lady some pan or I'll make some pan outta your fucking pork ass
Howie the White: i'm sorry, i don't have any change for you.
2009-09-01 [+] (-203) [-]
Alex the Mexican: Hey, I need you to make this your wawllpaper
wallpaper
http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/wikiality/images/thumb/c/c1/GaneshSimpsons.png/65px-GaneshSimpsons.png
Howie: im going to go ahead and say "no".
Alex the Mexican: HAHAHA
only you can get away with it!
Howie: ok
i'll make you a deal
i'll make that my desktop if you make this yours:
http://www.gayblackmania.com/free-sex/gal/black-gay-cock-01/data/black-gay-cock-movie-12.jpg
(sfw)
Alex the Mexican: blocked!
Howie: really?
Alex the Mexican: yup
Howie: http://www.toodarkpark.net/for-alex/wallpaper.jpg
note: i have never looked at that url
Alex the Mexican: BS that was SFW!
Howie: HELLO
THE URL IS GAY BLACK MANIA
AND IT SAYS COCK IN THE URL
HOW THE FUCK COULD THAT EVER BE SFW
Alex the Mexican: You realize that I'm getting fired now, right?
I'm sorry, but I'm a bit busy with shit right now, ya know
Howie: you can claim discrimination because you're a gay mexican
i cant believe you actually looked
wow
just
wow
Alex the Mexican: SOB ... and I fucking clicked it!
Howie: u=dum
Alex the Mexican: FUCK ... that's it ... I'm not accepting anymore links from you
Howie: lol
rofl
Sent at 2:51 PM on Tuesday
Howie: im still laughing about that
Alex the Mexican: I'm still pissed at that
Fuck, I shouldn't trust you with shit! lol
Howie: i dont get how you could think that anything with "gay black mania" and "cock" in the url was remotely sfw
Alex the Mexican: Like I said I wasn't looking
Howie: omg this is going on the funny page
as a classic
+1 billion points for hufflepuff
Alex the Mexican: I saw SFW, I saw a link, and I was like, ok, whatever
I thought you were going to keep it clean
Ganesh, clean ... Your link, WTF?!?!?!
Howie: http://www.toodarkpark.net/aimfunnies/index.phtml/2007?id=453
Alex the Mexican: I'm not touching that either! lol
Howie: that one is seriously sfw
swaerz
Alex the Mexican: naw, I'm fucking traumatized now
Howie: do i even want to ask what the image was ?
Alex the Mexican: I'm scared a big black cock will scroll across the screen
forum, forum, GIANT COCK
hell, it behooves me to think you actually have gay porn stored in your stash
Howie: howie @ tms:[/httpd/www.toodarkpark.net/htdocs/for-alex]
14:49:52 (3638) curl -o wallpaper.jpg "http://www.gayblackmania.com/free-sex/gal/black-gay-cock-01/data/black-gay-cock-movie-12.jpg"
% Total % Received % Xferd Average Speed Time Time Time Current
Dload Upload Total Spent Left Speed
100 48368 100 48368 0 0 14709 0 0:00:03 0:00:03 --:--:-- 21130
howie @ tms:[/httpd/www.toodarkpark.net/htdocs/for-alex]
14:50:10 (3639) file *
wallpaper.jpg: JPEG image data, JFIF standard 1.02
note the times
Alex the Mexican: yeah ... and ...
how the fuck did you know that URL
Howie: that was from an ANCIENT aimfunny
Alex the Mexican: SOB
Howie: http://www.toodarkpark.net/aimfunnies/index.phtml/2006?id=407
from 200 6
oh wow
2009-07-27 [+] (-131) [-]
HR Howie [5:09 PM]: clearly the solution is to beat the SOA team.
QA Doug [5:09 PM]: you know what the best part about that statement is
HR Howie [5:09 PM]: "the" ?
QA Doug [5:09 PM]: kevin is now considered part of the SOA team
QA Doug [5:10 PM]: (he went to U of A if you forgot)
HR Howie [5:10 PM]: PLEASED TO BE MAKING THE SMACKY SMACKY
QA Doug [5:10 PM]: i have a louisville slugger in my trunk
HR Howie [5:10 PM]: pfft
HR Howie [5:10 PM]: you have two hands
HR Howie [5:10 PM]: or as i like to call them
HR Howie [5:10 PM]: two women educators
QA Doug [5:10 PM]: yeah but i'd rather tee off and then just kick him
QA Doug [5:11 PM]: he's pretty tall so i'd have to lift my arms to punch him in the face
2009-07-16 [+] (-224) [-]
Howie: also
Howie: what russ said was not entirely true
Brian K.: about what?
Howie: me calling you a liar and stupid
Brian K.: oh
Howie: i also made fun of your mother.
Brian K.: hahaha
2009-07-09 [+] (-139) [-]
Brian K.: the successful builds graph looks like my 401k statement I got today
2009-07-09 [+] (-147) [-]
Howie: hufflepuff sounds like some sort of disease that children get
Brian K.: lol
Brian K.: actually
Howie: or smokers
Brian K.: I think it sounds like something I can't say
Howie: vagoo ?
Howie: vajin ?
Howie: thing with which to make sexytime ?
Brian K.: those are your hr words
Brian K.: not mine
Brian K.: @note to HR person reviewing this conversation:
Brian K.: I said nothing
2009-07-02 [+] (-123) [-]
Brian K.: I was thinking that we need a schedule hash integer tuple (shit)
Brian K.: then we need a pile of those
Brian K.: Pile<Shit>
Brian K.: and that's practically the whole [application we both work on]
Awesome Person: Pile<Shit> myPile = new Pile<Shit>();
Awesome Person: myPile.add( new Shit() );
Brian K.: right
Brian K.: you got it
Brian K.: run it past the team
Brian K.: :)
Awesome Person: im pretty sure we're doing that now, just not named correctly ;)
Brian K.: lol
Brian K.: dude - surprisingly hard to think of somethign that spells out shit
Brian K.: maybe its just because I feel like crap any my head is spinning
Awesome Person: you feel like crap or do you feel like Shit ?
Brian K.: I feel like Heap<Pile<Shit>>
Awesome Person: oic
Awesome Person: go be sick then
2009-06-10 [+] (-140) [-]
Alex The Mexican: now why would I stick a sandwich up my ass?
Alex The Mexican: It doesn't move
Alex The Mexican: it gets squished when you put it in
Alex The Mexican: a ham would be more arousing than a sandwich
Alex The Mexican: it's like getting a boiled zuchini and sticking it up your ass. You're not going to enjoy it, because it ends up as mush upon entry
Alex The Mexican: it's more maintenance then pleasure
Alex The Mexican: and why am I on a long rant about sticking food up my ass?!?!?!?!?
2009-05-14 [+] (-136) [-]
Alicia: In Soviet Russia, grapes don't like YOUR FACE.
2009-04-15 [+] (-129) [-]
(watching TV, there's a commercial for Monistat 7)
Howie: wtf, why would I want to hear this?
Leesh: men can get yeast infections too you know.
Howie: nuh-uh, we don't bake.
Leesh: ...
2009-03-24 [+] (-154) [-]
Alex: is it? So I'm sucking my great-grandmother every night?
2009-03-24 [+] (-73) [-]
Howie [11:01 AM]: did you hear me saying good things about you ?
Doug R. [11:01 AM]: no
Howie [11:01 AM]: i said "if it wasn't for doug we would've kept running with checkstyles.jar -- from 2004"
Doug R. [11:01 AM]: unless you say one of the 3 magic words there's like a 99% chance i'm going to ignore you by default
Howie [11:02 AM]: what are the magic 3 words ?
Howie [11:02 AM]: food is here ?
Doug R. [11:02 AM]: yes
Doug R. [11:02 AM]: food
Doug R. [11:02 AM]: beer
Doug R. [11:02 AM]: and i'll let you figure out the last one
Howie [11:02 AM]: puppies ?
Doug R. [11:03 AM]: if the p's were b's youd be pretty close
Howie [11:03 AM]: bubbies ?
2009-01-15 [+] (-159) [-]
(Howie turns the cable off and turns on the HTPC)
Leesh: Hay, I was watching that. Again.
Howie: I'm sorry, do you not want me to put on the new episode of 30 Rock?
Leesh: (pause) Is there a way I can belittle you and still make that my decision?
2009-01-14 [+] (-171) [-]
Alex [11:38 AM]: kill me now. You're free to do it within the next 30 seconds
Howie [11:38 AM]: my killing spree cannot be confined to a specific time
Howie [11:42 AM]: if i do kill you, can i harvest your organs and purchase an M5 with them ?
Howie [11:42 AM]: or are your organs in as bad shape as your knee ?
Alex [11:42 AM]: Ask my wife first ... should could make some good vitles with them
Alex [11:43 AM]: 8 inches should get you several thousand! lol
Howie [11:43 AM]: dont i know it